Leting Go, Letting God Write the Story

I used to be a girl who bought into all of the worldly stuff, thinking that I should just do whatever was trend. I thought that I should be like other girls, and dress the way they did. I thought I should have boyfriends like they did, and when I didn't, I thought there was something wrong with me. But there was a bigger purpose to that, and even though I wasn’t paying enough attention to realize it, God’s hand was all over that.

Our culture places so much emphasis on romantic relationships, and has skewed what love is and has ignored what God would have for us in relationships.

I wanted for so long to hurry up and find "the one" who I would marry. All my friends and acquaintances were getting married. So why didn't I even have a boyfriend? I thought there was something wrong with me. People told me to start looking hard, or I might be a spinster. People advised that I should live with whomever, that I should date a lot, and "experience" (whatever that means) a lot of guys before I settled down.

A couple of years ago, I decided that it was time for me to give up on me trying to find Mr. Right, and just let God handle it. As soon as I did that, I suddenly had this peace about it, and it felt like God was saying to me, "When I'm ready, I'll put you together with the man you are supposed to spend your life with. In the mean time..."

The mean time has been a time of growth for me, and I honestly think that if I was married two or three years ago, that I would be getting divorced at this moment. I didn't have much to offer in a relationship. I was too guarded with my emotions, and I had some things I hadn’t dealt with yet. And I still do. It's a daily process, which, with time and the grace of God, heals my brokenness and prepares me to be the wife that He would have me to be.

That doesn’t mean that the desire for a relationship isn’t there, it just means that I know God knows my heart, He knows most of all what I need, and when I need it. And when the time comes, everything will happen in the most brilliantly perfect way because it will be the love story that God has written, and not the fairy tale that I wished for through my youth.

Through my struggles I have discovered that true freedom comes through the surrender of our will, and our genuine obedience to God. If we give our lives fully to Him, then, and only then, can we truly have the ultimate freedom--the freedom from our sin, that was bought by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, who took upon Himself our sins, and died for us. He took the blame for us, and got the punishment that we each deserve for all of the stuff we've done.

I know I don't deserve His grace and love, but He gives it to me even though I'm a fully flawed human being. And that is what is truly awe-inspiring about our Father.

And He loves you too. More than you could ever imagine.

Grace & Inheritance

Sometimes I can forget that though I am a human who does stupid stuff, and generally makes a mess of things when left to my own devices, that I'm still washed by His grace. I forget that grace is enough. I don't have to be perfect, I just have to trust in His Word. I have to believe that forgiveness comes through my humble request of it, not through my constant striving for moral perfection.

According to the book of Ephesians, when we believe, we receive the inheritance of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is our guide. When we read the Word, the Spirit is there, guiding us, helping us understand what it is we are supposed to learn. The Spirit is there when we lift our voices in praise to our God. And he's there every day of our life, in us. He's that voice that says, "Are you sure you want to do that?" or "You should help that person over there. They need someone to talk to."

This inheritance is a glorious thing; yet at the same time, we are trusted with one overall responsibility when we become disciples of Christ---that of going into the world and introducing people to Christ through the way in which we live our lives. We become Jesus through serving, not being served; loving, when people are unlovable; forgiving the unforgivable.

Do people see Jesus in you? Are you striving to live a life that is less about "me" and more about your Creator? Are you listening to what the Spirit is trying to tell you in your everyday life?

I ask myself these questions. I wonder what people see when they look at me. I wonder if I am a reflection of God's unfailing love.

Something to think about.